Not good enough

Not good enough

 

I guess I always knew it.
You and I are not going to work out.
Because you know, we are too different.

I am woman, this one Slovak girl.
And you are the strong male.
This charming prince on the white horse.

I love my work, my business, my clients.
You hate each single workday, 
that you spend in that office, babe.

You told me that I should lose
some more weight, some opinions 
or maybe just the annoying boyfriend?

You treated me badly and I still
gave you this next other chance,
as you promised just the last one.

There is no more apologies for your
bad behaviour, your ignorant manners,
the way you showed me each single day.

That I am not worthy,
not good enough,
certainly not for you.

Because maybe, 
it could be all
completely different and changed.

And you are just not good enough 
for me, for my life,
for my time or for my love.

Sometimes the fairytales don´t have
the sweet happy endings
and reality cannot be ignored anymore.

You know what?
I really feel happy again,
because I have my next reason.

Why being single is so great.
there is nobody to tell me,
that I am not good enough for them!

 With love 1skgirl
Extract from my e-book

Extract from my e-book

This is an extract from my e-book and its part My city! http://greatideaslovakia.eu

In the communist time it was not allowed to travel without special permits. It was also very difficult to get those documents. My parents were never allowed to travel into the so-called not communist friendly countries. Many people used to travel and never return back, so many times people had very special border controls and it was also not allowed to carry too much money or personal documents, photographs, etc.

I am 30 years old and I do not remember communist era that much. My older brother and sister have more of less only candid memories. They remember the pioneers movement, the similar dresses and not very wide selection of fruits and vegetables.

When it comes to the generation of my parents they do remember much more. My mom and born in 1951 and my father 4 years prior, so they lived big part of their life in communist era. They remember their jobs, their friends who left the country. One of our family friends left the country after 1968 – Prague spring and never returned back. His whole family was having a lot of issues and was interrogated by police.

My uncle, who was my dad´s brother, had also many problems, because he was a catholic priest and was followed, persecuted and even disciplined by the goverment.

It was very difficult time and I personally do not like to picture it black and white, because besides all the freedom taken from people, there were some good things. But many things were not free, like no freedom to travel, express own thoughts freely, no free press, media and religion. There was officially no unemployement, no homeless people. Young people used to marry in their early 20ties so they would get cheaper flats for the newlyweds. There was the family politics, supporting having multiple children in the family, abortions and divorces were more difficult to get than are now.

Do not die

Do not die

 

Death. The end. Final moments.

It is something I never get used to, but it is a part of being a pet owner.

Just yesterday I was holding his sick little body, experiencing his last breaths on this earth.

And now he is gone. And me and my other chinchilla Chia are feeling alone. He suddenly died, no previous illnesses, just one single bad day and he is no longer here.

My black chinchilla named Blackie died suddenly just at the age of seven months. My veterinary doctor tried to help him, but he was not very responsive to fluids and shots given.

As I was holding him, feeling it is not going to be better, I was repeating – don´t die. Please don´t die. I was trying to nurture and hold him as much as I could, but he eventually died. I had him unfortunatly for only four months. Such a short time, really.

He had different character than my other chinchilla Chia. He was a very kind boy, he loved his sand and nuts. And Chia, oh, he loved her. We are both missing him very much. I feel heartbroken, I lost beloved one. It is scary, it is hard, it really sucks.

But sometimes it happens. Even if you wish him not to die. Even if you go to the doctor. Even if you do your best and take the best medical care ever possible.

It is the death and I cannot change it. Just accept it. Like everybody else.

Rest in peace my true love #suddendeath #misshimsomuch #myheartisbrokenrightnow

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